Scheduling

A Powerful Sensory Tool in Regulating the Nervous System & Strengthening the Parent-Child Relationship  One sensory tool that helps strengthen the parent-child relationship and holds regulating abilities is touch. In the Bay Area, where our children and adults are overscheduled and met with high expectations, it is hard to carve out time for healthy positive forms of touch. However, touch from a loved one is an important part of development! This sense has a direct connection with our emotional wellbeing and calm centers of the brain for learning. When a loved one, such as a parent, provides loving, positive touch, the receptors send signals down two pathways in the brain:

Setting boundaries are an important way to establish expectations and create a sense of security in the day to day for your child. Boundaries teach children how to regulate their emotions and equip them in navigating social situations. They teach our children to respect both themselves and others. However, setting boundaries is not an easy task! It requires a degree of finesse that takes practice — especially with your loved ones and children with diverse abilities. However, the outcomes are are worth it: they instill confidence and increase independence in children. Here are several strategies to set boundaries with a child who is nuerodiverse: Use concrete, visual language that is clear for children. For example, if you want your child to stop you may incorporate "red light, green light, yellow light" language to slow down their bodies. Offer options to a child: For example, you may tell your child you can have a healthy snack now or wait until lunch time. It is okay to state "I will not let you have candy for snack, but you can have a fruit pouch or cheese." Use a visual schedule to set expectations with routines/ new schedules. Connect with your child. If your child is feeling dysregulated or having a meltdown when you set an expectation, validate that big emotion and give them an opportunity to feel that big emotion. We want our children to know that all feelings are normal. Offering comfort in close proximity (i.e. getting to eye level with your child) and modeling calm a calm, empathetic voice can influence hormones and decrease distress to return to their activity. Focus on what you want your child to do. Instead of telling your child "do not run in the hallway," tell them, "can we walk like an elephant in the hallway?" Make it fun and playful! Focus on what you want your child to do part II. Neurodiverse children thrive with setting visual expectations and sometimes do not enjoy being told what to do. Model the behavior you want for your child without words. Challenge yourself, the parent or caregiver to ask yourself if the boundary is worth it! Choose your battles and question why the boundary is in place. If a child wants to take home an item from InGym, can we practice "borrowing and returning" the item to InGym since that is a skill we develop with friends? Challenge your parenting lens daily to ask, how will this support my child's growth as they continue towards adulthood.  Boundaries are important skills to learn to support social participation and play skills as children grow!